Deep down, BuzzFeed is one of the most admirable and salient voices in independent digital media, but occasionally some of their ideas are simply rotten. Known for their ability to convert world news and happenstance into lists, BuzzFeed’s refreshing take on publishing takes a turn for complete and total nonsense (“100 Celebrities Hanging Out With Elmo,” “101 Teens Drinking Slurpees“).1
In a recent fit of compulsive list-bravery, BuzzFeed has created a list of 20 intrinsically messy Do-It-Yourself home remedies. Unfortunately, BuzzFeed has little faith in the practical application of the homebrew medical solutions as the subheading for the list contains a modest disclaimer: “We have no idea if these actually work or not—this is merely a compilation of things a lot of people on the Internet recommend.”
In trusting the ethereal whispers of the Internet, BuzzFeed promises relief from restless leg syndrome, sunburn, earaches, constipation, nose-bleeds, dandruff, fever, pink eye, urinary tract infections, bleeding, and nail fungus among other things.
The methodology prescribed is where things begin to get sticky. It seems BuzzFeed has created a new form of entertainment: making their readers do silly things with food to their ailed bodies.
If we listened to BuzzFeed, we’d have bars of soap at our feet, tea on our sunburns, coconut oil in our ears, frozen car keys on our necks, mouth-wash in our hair, Marshmallows jammed down our throats, baking soda crusting on our splinters, egg whites in our socks, Kitty Litter plastered to our faces, Cayenne pepper in our flesh wounds, and whipped egg whites in our eyes. If we listened to BuzzFeed we’d be a locomotive insanity plea, a homemade hypochondriac freak.
1 Indie publishing outfit McSweeney’s took special note of BuzzFeed‘s absurd list practices and created an article pitching ideas. BuzzFeed, not to be out listed, took McSweeney’s suggestion as challenge and created the proposed lists. Several favorites: “18 Things To Scream At A Cow, Cows Are The Worst, Right?” “11 Political Lessons We Learned From ‘Gilmore Girls,’” and “50 Photos of Bill Clinton’s Forehead, Our 42nd Forehead-In-Chief.”