Apple in Cider: iPhone 5 Rumors

Recent rumors for the anticipated iPhone 5 (i.e., the sixth generation iPhone) include speculation that the iPhone will have a certain technology called Liquidmetal instead of glass. But there’s been a little confusion as to what that will entail and what else we can expect for Apple’s next phone. Here’s a rundown brought you by the Airspace.

First we have a demo of the liquid metal technology in action.

  • The iPhone 5 will feature a larger screen—according to our source, “large enough to fry an egg on.”
  • The iPhone 5 will come preloaded with an egg frying app.
  • It won’t have a home button, but one will still be available after a $99 upgrade fee.
  • Its terms of service will give away naming rights to your first born child. Rumored names include “Cupertino”—if a girl—and “Ping”—if sterile.
  • The iPhone 5 will be alongside a less expensive, cloud-based model which won’t actually exist.
  • You will be able to combine several iPhone 5s to create a new new iPad.
  • Siri will come with both “HAL” and “GLaDOS” settings.
  • The announcement will be given by a holographic Steve Jobs.
  • Each iPhone will come with a vial of tears from a Foxconn employee.
  • The iPhone 5 will use inductive charging to turn the user’s self-satisfaction into battery power.
  • The iPhone 5 is so thin it will entirely vanish if placed on its side. Don’t place the iPhone 5 on its side.
  • It will be released on or around Christmas to, quote, “Prove once and for all that Apple is bigger than Jesus.”
  • Immediately following its release, an iPhone 6 with an SD card slot, a new form factor, and a larger screen will begin production.

Concept image via Ciccarese Design

  • MikeCygan

    hmm very interested to see how it plays out in the christmas season

    • Tony Russo

       @MikeCygan I’m mainly looking forward to holographic Steve Jobs’ rendition of ‘California Love.’

  • Blake J. Graham

    The title pun slays me.

  • smallsdc25

    Could I combine the HAL and GLaDOS settings?  I want my phone to make fun of my human characteristics when I ask it to open doors for me.

    • Kris Ward [The Airspace]

       @smallsdc25 I want nothing more than that. 

  • National Cash For Cars

    Thanks for this informative blog, I always enjoy reading it.

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