10 Definitive Reasons Against Gay Marriage

Steve and Chad only started dating three months ago. They’re rushing into things too quickly.

Claire and Michelle fight all the time, never resolve anything, and have serious communication issues.

Rebecca forgot Emily’s birthday each of the two years they’ve been engaged.

We’re almost certain Simon is straight.

Marisa has had a fling with Charlene in accounting ever since Marisa got engaged to Sarah.

Angelina hates dogs. Maryann is a canine veterinarian. How is that ever going to work out?

Josh is a gold-digger. Billy is disgustingly wealthy and falls for all of Josh’s hollow charms.

Andrew just wants to marry Clark to piss off his dad.

Matthew is just looking for a green card.

Tim invited three of his ex-boyfriends to the engagement party.

HT: McSweeney’s

  • you suck


    • http://theairspace.net/ Blake J. Graham

      why even bother commenting?

  • Phil Quarfoot

    Very clever!

  • Justin

    Ugh Charlene of all people? That slut.

  • Hark Herald LA Times Man

    What an insightful piece of commentary that didn’t appear on McSweeney’s last week.

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