Just So You “Neuro”…

What if the key to enhanced mental functioning could be stored in your refrigerator? Neuro, a progressive company taking a new spin at the energy drink, is striving to make such a phenomenon a reality. Neuro has transcended the traditional energy drink and specialized it: Whatever your energizing needs may be—from academically productive energy to sexual energy, athletic energy to inducing a soporific lack of energy—Neuro probably has a drink for you. By harnessing the powers of neurochemistry, these futuristic beverages have the potential to get your brain and body to do what you want them to do—no prescription needed.


Currently, there are eight Neuro drink “flavors” on the market. All of them only have 35 calories per bottle, with the exception of Neuro Sport and Neuro Aqua, which have 50 calories and 0 calories respectively. Compared to most energy drinks, which easily pack in 150+ calories, I’d say Neuro’s caloric content isn’t half bad.

Neuro Passion: Formerly called Neuro Gasm, this drink claims to enhance one’s sexual desire. Its ingredients, such as L-citrulline, get your blood flowing in addition to supporting the nervous system.

Neuro Sonic: Ideal for enhancing focus, Neuro Sonic would be useful for cramming for exams and taking tests. With “mental performance in each bottle,” this drink contains a whole host of nervous system boosting biochemical ingredients, such as Alpha GPC, which plays an important role in maintaining memories.

Neuro Sleep: The name says it all: Neuro Sleep helps you fall asleep. Using the naturally occurring hormone melatonin, Neuro Sleep will help signal your brain and body that it’s time to get some rest.

Neuro Sun: With “Vitamin D in each bottle,” this drink theoretically makes it possible to never go outside, but still get a healthy dose of sunshine. This drink can help you maintain a healthy skeletal system and immune system by enhancing calcium absorption.

Neuro Aqua: Its “premium hydration in every bottle” not only hydrates you, but supplements your brain and bones with high levels of magnesium and calcium.

Neuro Bliss: This “happiness in every bottle” is supposed to promote relaxation. Its main ingredient, L-Theanine, reduces stress by shifting your brain waves from a state of anxiety to a state of calmness, relaxation, and pure bliss.

Neuro Sport: “Replenishment in every bottle” can help you channel your energy into athletic performance and replenish your electrolytes. The key electrolytes–potassium, sodium, magnesium, calcium, and chloride–are in each bottle, ensuring both hydration and healthy energy.

Neuro Trim: “A leaner you in every bottle” can apparently be achieved if you drink Neuro Trim 30 minutes prior to each meal. Its high concentration of glucomannan fiber helps control appetite.


At first, one might be alarmed by the host of ominous, unpronounceable ingredients on the nutrition label of a bottle of Neuro. However, many of these convoluted chemicals are actually naturally occurring biochemicals that are necessary for each drink to help you fulfill your desired mental intentions.

For example, the ingredient L-theanine appears in many Neuro beverages, including Neuro Passion, Neuro Sonic, and Neuro Bliss. L-theanine, an amino acid commonly found in tea plants, can improve your mood, diminish stress, enhance focus, and provide you with an overall sense of alertness and well being. Theanine’s revitalizing effects are particularly noticeable when combined with caffeine.

Test Drives

During this past spring semester, a café at my school began to sell Neuro. Curious about the drinks’ effectiveness, I decided to invest some time and “Board Bucks” in testing these alleged liquid miracle workers.

Neuro Sleep:

As a chronic insomniac, I was especially eager to try Neuro Sleep. Within minutes after drinking it, I was out like a light. I ended up sleeping from 1 AM until 4 PM. I slept through three alarms, along with my roommate attempting to wake me up multiple times. Luckily, this was a Saturday—my one free day of the week last semester—so I didn’t sleep through any classes or work shifts. Nonetheless, this excessive amount of sleep was frightening, so I refuse to try it again.

Neuro Sonic:

I tried Neuro Sonic when I was cramming for a really important exam. Shortly after drinking Neuro Sonic, I became very jittery, but focused nonetheless. I got some productive studying in, until I “took a break” and checked my Facebook page. After that, I became more fixated on random websites than my studies, but somehow felt like I was being productive anyway. This delusion of productivity definitely hurt me a little bit, and I haven’t had Neuro Sonic since.

Neuro Bliss:

Feeling somewhat despondent one cold, rainy Boston afternoon, I decided it would be the optimal time to chug a whole bottle of Neuro Bliss for the first time. Within an hour, I went from moping over my statistics textbook to dancing to “Fun.” ballads alone in my dorm room. Though that afternoon was retrospectively pathetic, I must admit that I enjoyed experiencing this borderline delirious euphoria (short-lived though it was).

In subsequent trials, I reduced my intake of Neuro Bliss, and experienced much less extreme results. Its lightly carbonated, coconutty taste really appealed to me, so I ended up drinking this quite regularly. Out of the Neuro drinks that I tried, Neuro Bliss is definitely my favorite.

If Neuro has intrigued you, you can try Neuro yourself: Either find a store near you that sells the drink, or order it online.


Neuro: The Operating System for Life
L-Theanine Information

Images via:
Trainer Jo
Keck School of Medicine of USC
HD Desktop Wallpapers
Blissful Belle

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